The Ripple Effects of Cambodia's Killing Fields in America

Written By: Peter Bin

      From it's ancient wars with Indonesia and Champa, to the betrayal of their Thai allies, struggles with Vietnam, and the genocide committed by the Khmer Rouge; Cambodians have dealt with bloodshed for centuries.
    I can recall a conversation with my father regarding the ancient temple, Preah Vihear, located on the border of Thailand and Cambodia. Gunfire had been exchanged between the two countries, in which caused rumors of the possibility of war. Hearing this, I asked my father, "What do you think if Cambodia went to war with Thailand?". He replied, "We have nothing to worry about, Cambodia has years of experience in combat in which Thailand lacks". I look back at my father's reply and think of our history. I come to ask myself this question: "When will violence end for Cambodians and when will we ever see true peace?".
     Over forty years ago, 2.5 million Cambodians were killed by Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge regime. The genocide caused a flood of Cambodians to seek refuge in the United States. Refugees populated States such as California and Massachusetts; causing Lowell, Massachusetts to have the second largest Cambodian population in the country, with Lynn, Massachusetts following in third. Similar to most immigrants who come to the United States, Cambodians shared the American dream.  Unfortunately, for many the escape from conflict was not over. Children of the refugees had fall victim to another type of war; a war carried in the streets by neighborhood gangs.
     While scores of Cambodian parents were dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder or working to make their American dreams come true, their children were left in neighborhoods that were surrounded by drugs and violence. Young men and women were lured by the attraction of gangs. It brought a sense of family, friends, income, and protection from racism. Gangs created a warrior-like lifestyle, in which many Cambodians believed ran in their veins.
     As a youth attending grade school, I seen my fair share of the gang culture. These young men and women were convinced they were at war with other Cambodians. Their conversations would consist of planning attacks, scouting for new enemy locations, and creating details on particular rivals. Listening to their conversations you would have believed they were part of a military group. But they were just kids, who wish was to have their rivals completely eliminated. These kids had no idea that they were speaking of genocide. There was no political reasoning for their belief. They had no real answers of why they wanted these other kids dead.
    Many of them dedicated their lives to the gangs, which caused a large number of grade school dropouts. According to an American Reframe documentary, Cambodians have the highest highschool dropout rate among Asian minority groups. It is a rate that is hard to believe, stereotypically Asians are considered to prosper well in education.
     From the year 2000-2010, gang violence within the Cambodian community of Lynn, Massachusetts was at an all time high. Not one person came in to try to mediate the tensions between the rival gangs. The only answer to the solution was to let the police deal with it. In 2010, the Federal government stepped in with "Operation Melting Pot 1 and 2". Federal agents raided neighborhoods and sent a number of men to prison.
     A mother of one of the arrested spoke of how much fear she had felt during the raids. She stated agents wearing mask and wielding guns had kicked in her door during the dark hours of the morning. Family members young and old were ordered to lie on the floor. The ordeal gave her flashbacks of the Khmer Rouge days, triggering her PTSD. It reminded her of how the Khmer Rouge would round up their victims in the middle of the night, ordering them to lie in a ditch as they await to be slaughtered.
     It is believed that the Cambodian gang culture is a ripple effect of Pol Pot's killing fields. Similar to what has happen to the youth in America, the Khmer Rouge lured and recruited young men and women from poor rural areas. These kids had no educational background. They were misled to believe a prosperous life and new utopia was in store for the future.  To obtain this goal, Pol Pot ordered his followers to eliminate all who were educated, religious, mix ethnicity or thought to be a spy. Pol Pot gave his adolescent followers the power to control another human beings life; a power they had never experienced. This made it easy for the Khmer Rouge to manipulate the young in killing their own people.
         In America, young Cambodians are continuing to kill each other, but for what cost?
    When a person is murdered, two lives are lost and two mothers mourn. To hear a mother's pain from losing a child, is a sound like no other. You can feel her wounds opening, it penetrates like a sword to the heart. I remember Savorn Prom, who was killed at the age of 17. His mother hugged his casket, begging to be with her son as he entered the crematory furnace. I recall looking at the front page of the Lynn Daily Item Newspaper, where there was a photo of Kevin Keo's mother crying as he was sentenced to life without parole. I once was sitting in a prison cell, as I watched on the TV screen, a Cambodian family mourning the lost of Vannark Chourb, who was murdered only after a year of being freed from prison. I have seen young Cambodian men enter the prison system with pain and sorrow in their eyes, because they believe this is where their life ends.
     Our families came to America to escape war and bondage, not to return to it. It is rare in our community to see someone who wants to educate the youth and instill peace. When these kids join a gang, other Cambodians shun and ignore them. The ones who do make it out the gangs, rarely or never come back to educate these kids on why they left.
      Along with the lack of help for the youth, our elders receive no assistance with mental health for post traumatic stress disorder that was caused by the killing fields of Pol Pot.
     The reason for this absence of education and assistance may stem from the fact that Cambodians live by the belief of forgetting about their painful past and to never speak on it again. But as people who survived war, genocide, gangs, and prison or ones who have experienced success, have a responsibility. We have the responsibility to educate our youth and support our elders. We must share our experience and no longer let our community be ignored. Without education, growth and support from each other, we are stuck in a revolving cycle of bloodshed, imprisonment, and poverty.
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Peter Bin is an advocate for the incarcerated. He is also a prison blogger @ www.PeterBinJusticeForAll.com
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Modern Day Slavery

Believe it or not, slavery still exist in America today. Incarceration is a form of slavery, as the 13th Amendment's text acknowledges: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States".
     In America, prisons have become a form of business, where billionaires invest in opening private prisons for their own personal gains. Here in Massachusetts, facilities such as North Central Correctional Institutions have their prisoners doing landscape and kitchen work for no pay at all. The institution call it volunteer work. What they tell their prisoners is: if an inmate is willing to volunteer, eventually these volunteers will be able to move to a position to earn good time (time-off their sentence), the next position is to move to a slot which earns $1.00 a day. Does this system sound familiar?
     Before Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, this was the same system used in slavery. Slaves would work endlessly in the fields, earning next to nothing. The ones who could earn money from their so-called masters, would save the little they earned, hoping they can buy their freedom back. Along with the dream of buying their freedom, they had the dream of buying back their children or family members.
     This system is also used in the sex trade, another form of slavery. Women from Asia or a third world country who is sold into the sex trade is often told the same. They are told each day they must meet a goal of performing sex acts on a large number of clients. To earn their freedom back, their is a set number of men they have to sleep with. The number ranges to the thousands and it could take years to buy and regain their freedom.
     In the United States, prisons have turned into concrete plantations. We are the top ranking country to have the most prisons in the world. There are over 2 million people incarcerated in America. The idea of profiting from prison labor has played a major role to advance mass incarceration in the United States. Companies such as CoreCivic and GEO profit from private prisons and prison labor. These companies trade on the New York stock exchange, in which they hold power and influence for an expanding market share. Similar to the history of slavery, these people are profiting from human misery.
     Mass incarceration continue to grow due to prosecutors scare tactics. According to Criminal Legal News "prosecutors wreck havoc on the life of a person who insist he or she is innocent and want to exercise their right to a jury trial". Prosecutors over charge suspects to frighten them into a plea bargain, in turn to avoid severe penalties. The overwhelming majority of criminal convictions are the consequence of plea bargains, more than 95% are by guilty pleas. Quoted from Dan Stohr an Illinois attorney, "when you have been pushed around and ground down, that may seem like the best choice under the circumstances".
    Even at trial it is hard for a defendant to effectively fight and claim their innocence. The law gives jurors less discretion than in the past. Many of the defense arguments that were carried in criminal trials a century ago are off limits in today's systems. Defendants find it harder to claim a lack of criminal intent, when that concept is defined more automated and much favorable to the government. Criminal law does not function as law. Rather the law defines a menu of options for prosecutors and police officers as they see fit.
     All who is employed in the criminal justice system or have a stake in it, reaps the benefits from the imprisonment of a human being. Mass incarceration is needed for inmate labor, which is used to get the highest possible returns on profits. Without inmate labor, prisons could not run properly.
     For example, Massachusetts's maximum security prison, Sousa Baranowski Correction Center, has experienced times where it could not properly function due to work stoppages and hunger strikes. In 2016, there were rumors that the Department of Corrections(D.O.C) wanted to make visiting procedures more difficult for families of the incarcerated. This caused inmates to refuse to work and eat. For many inmates, family contact is the most valuable aspect of their lives. The inmate work stoppage caused Sousa Baranowski officials to panic. Prison staff members were now forced to do the hard labor work to keep the facility operating. The prison staff despised this line of work, believing it was below them. As the strike continued, prison officials try their best to negotiate and compromise with the inmates. They convinced inmates to return to work, in exchange, there would be no modifications in the visiting procedures.
     In 2018, the rumors of the change in the D.O.C visiting policy came true. The D.O.C. limited the number of family members who can visit. Families now have to go through a vigorous visiting procedure process. Inmates are now forced to choose between love ones to be added on a pre-approved list. The 2016 negotiations was a lie.
     In the prison system, history is repeating itself. We the incarcerated, have become slaves for the rich. They call it volunteer work, but is it volunteer work when this is the only option to buy our freedom back? They call slave work "good time" to get days off of our sentence. But they barely offer programs, trade skills development or education to rehabilitate inmates to be good when they enter society. So what "good" comes from profiting on human misery?
     Families were separated and torn apart due to slavery. The D.O.C does the same when it makes visiting procedures difficult for an inmate's family.  In turn, the D.O.C's visiting system deters families away. The number of visitors has drastically dropped. Correctional officers praise the decrease, stating it has made their job much easier.
    The masters of today's criminal justice system have nothing to lose from this mismanagement. They never bear the cost and see the consequences of their bad decisions. When a person is accused of a crime, they are no longer seen as humans. No one cares what happens to them, as long as they go to prison. They become another profitable pawn to a business that many call a system.

A Topic Rarely Spoken About: Suicide

Suicide statistics is on the rise, but we rarely speak about it. Among adolescents and adults, many have become part of the growing rate. As a person serving a life sentence, I would be lying if I said I never thought of suicide. I believe it is common for the thought of suicide to cross the minds of men and women who are serving a long prison sentence.

Being in prison we lose everything: friends, relationship with our kids and family, our financial situation fall apart, our love ones struggle without us, some may even leave us. Any of these scenarios will likely cause depression.

When I was convicted to a life sentence without parole, my life flashed before my eyes. It was like a scene from a movie, in which someone is about to die. One of the worst feelings I had ever felt.

After being convicted I did not want to be alone. I wanted to be around people so I can take my mind off losing my life. But since I had a stay on my sentencing (because the prosecutor withheld exculpatory evidence), the county jail placed me in solitary confinement, due to the fact I was now considered “a convicted murderer”. Not only I was placed in solitary, my clothes was taken away from me.

My status was put on high and I was no longer allowed to be next to any human beings unless I was handcuffed. I was considered a danger to everyone, including myself, although I showed no signs of it. They fed me only finger food, mainly bologna sandwiches and chips. My last meal was at 2:30 p.m. I starved through out the day. The system was kicking me down, when I was already down.

Soon after, my girlfriend came to see me. It was a painful visit. She was beautiful and I knew I could not be with her. She was as devastated as I was. I remember her punching the glass and saying “what will I do without you!”. She told me then “you have to keep fighting to come home to me”. She made me promise not to give up.

For three months this is how I lived. Living in those conditions made it hard to take her advice and keep my promise. My mental health started to deteriorate. Although I initially did not want to take my own life, I started to consider it. Just the thought of spending the rest of my life in prison made me felt as there was nothing to live for.

One day I decided to take action. I tried to tear a mat apart to make a noose. But luckily the mat was tear proof.

From time to time throughout my incarceration I still would contemplate suicide. Although those thoughts crossed my mind, I never showed I was in despair. I smiled often, I acted as nothing was affecting me, but I was dying inside.

I once told someone how I felt. They responded with “you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else”. Hearing that I thought “what is there to love about myself? I’m in prison and I can not offer nothing to myself or to others. My life has no purpose, no meaning. I feel like a burden to my family who has to support me”.

Even the fight for my freedom has weighed heavily on me. All I hear is “no” after “no”. The more no’s I heard , the more I knew my dreams of being free was out of reach. Each “no” was an unbearable pain.

I was at the point where I thought death would bring me happiness and I would finally be free. But when it came time to take action, I would always fail.

One day I read something about suicide. It said “when ever you feel like you want to take your life, think about it and give it a few days before you try to do something harmful”. I think that is one of the best advice I found, because something in your life can change and it can impact your feelings. If I did not find that advice, I do not know if I would still be here.

I took that advice. Although I am still incarcerated, I know right now my main purpose is fighting to prove I am innocent. It is something worth fighting for and I am making progress. If I did not have something to fight for, I may of given up. I admit, it has been tough, many people have come and gone. There might be more “no’s” ahead, but I am fighting.

To anyone struggling with life, remember it will not be a cake walk, everyday can be a battle. The thought of giving up might still be there and probably won’t go away for awhile. But if we fight to get through it, we will find that piece of hope we need to keep going. Just believe what ever your going through will end one day. We just got to fight to get there. A little hope can make a big impact.

Secondary DNA Evidence Putting Innocent Men and Women Behind Bars

DNA evidence has been consider "the magic bullet" used by prosecutors to convict a defendant in a criminal trial. When a jury hears DNA evidence, a phenomenon called the CSI-effect occurs. The CSI-effect is when the existence of television crime shows effect the minds of jurors. These shows often inform its audience that DNA is concrete evidence of who committed the crime. A number of studies show that jurors rate DNA evidence as accurate 95 percent of the time and convincing of a defendant's guilt 94 percent of the time.

Recently a small number of reports regarding DNA has questioned the reliability of such evidence. Reports of secondary DNA and flawed forensics testing procedures are starting to come to light. The President's Council Advisors of Science and Technology and the National Institute of Standard and Technology has produced these reports.

For sake of explanation, secondary DNA is an occurrence of an individuals DNA being transferred to an object or location without such individual touching the object or  being at location of the found DNA.

The individual's DNA can be transferred in several ways:
-Person A and person B touch hands. Person B then touch an object. Person A's DNA has now been transferred to that object.
-Person A and person B  touch the same object. Person B then touch a second object. The second object now has Person A's DNA.
-Person A touch an object, the object then touch another object. Both objects now contain Person A's DNA.

These are just a few examples of secondary DNA transfer.

In past news articles, the National Institute of Justice and other institutes showed little interest for secondary DNA research. However in a recent article, the National Institute of Standard and Technology withheld a report regarding secondary DNA for five years. The report could have been used by criminal defendants and stop wrongful convictions.

The report titled "NIST Interlaboratory Studies Involving DNA mixtures (MIX05 and MIX13) Variations Observed and Lesson Learned" showed in a research experiment, that 74 out 108 laboratories put an innocent individual DNA at a crime scene. It also showed due to complexity, the evidence used in the research produced DNA of two individuals, when indeed there were five individual DNAs in the mixture. Only 7 laboratories testing procedures did produce accurate results.
In conclusion, the report showed how DNA testing procedures could be flawed. Either putting an innocent person at the crime scene or causing people to believe there was only two individual DNAs on an item or scene, when actually there were five DNA sources.

Withholding such report gave jurors five years of bad interpretation of DNA evidence.

In the case of Peter Bin, police found a Boston Red Sox baseball cap at the crime scene. The witness described a white male with blonde hair and blue eyes wearing the same baseball cap. Upon testing the hat for forensics, two DNAs were found. One to an unknown source, the other allegedly linked to Peter Bin. But the problem was, Bin had an alibi and was not a white male. Bin was a Cambodian male with brown skin.

Although there was alibi evidence and a non matching description, the CSI-effect took over the jury. Bin was convicted and sentence to life without parole.

If the report was available, an analyst would been able to go into court and effectively school a jury and judge there are other explanations for this DNA to be there. The DNA could of been placed innocently or through secondary transfer. The defense could of reviewed the testing procedures and found flaws. Most certainly of all, the report could have prevented Peter Bin's wrongful conviction.

People on a jury and in society need to be educated on DNA and understand it is not the magic bullet.

My Little Girl

I always wanted to have a daughter. I pictured her as a little Cambodian girl with big eyes, lips like mines and the cutest face. On January 10, 2011 my wishes came true. My little girl was born and she looked exactly how I envisioned her.  I love her more than anything in this world. We became inseparable. She wanted to do everything I did. She would wear hats like me and try to dress like me. She was my little baby tom boy.

The day of my arrest, I had drop her off with my sister. She cried for me not to leave her. I told her I would come back to get her .
 
Almost 7 years have gone since then. I often wonder what went on in her little mind the day when her Papa never came back. How she must of waited and waited. I imagined every time there was a knock on the door, she would of run to it, hoping it was me. She would tell herself "my papa would be here any minute". Oh how her heart must of been broken when I never came. I left my little girl in a world without me.

For 2 1/2 years I did not get to hold her. When I first saw her, she just ran to me. It was the best feeling in the world to have her in my arms. I kissed her repeatedly and we braided each others hair. It was a quick visit. When it was time for her to leave, I did not want to let her go. I held back tears as she left.

She often asks me "when will you be home?". If I will be home to make it to her birthdays or school recitals. One time I called and she says "Papa my facetime buttons not working". I asked her "what's wrong with it ?". She says "I keep pressing it because I want to see your face". My heart broke, my baby was too young to realize I was calling from a pay phone.

Every morning and night, I pray to be with her. To teach her to be brave, to be strong, to be respectful, to have fun, to fear nothing. I always try my best to make her feel loved. I just wish I can be home to be the father she needs.

California Modifies Its Felony Murder Law, Massachusetts Should Do The Same

California Legislatures has passed a new bill that Massachusetts lawmakers should look at as a prime example for Criminal Justice Reform.

    Similar to Massachusetts, California's original felony-murder doctrine allows a person to be convicted and punished to life in prison for murder, although the person was not at the murder scene or they may have been a getaway driver, a lookout, helped planned a lesser felony, or provided clothes and weapons to the primary participant. In all of these scenario, the person did not intend a death to occur. 

    California's S.B 1437 bill has changed that law, effecting up to 800 men and women serving life sentences or facing the death penalty. The bill is retroactive and it no longer allows the state to convict a codefendant for someone else's intended crime to murder.

   Shawn Khalifa, a California man is a example of how the original felony-murder law is unjust. He stole chocolate from a man's house but had no part in the man's murder, but was sentence to life. With the passing of S.B. 1437, he will now be able to gain his freedom.

   In Massachusetts, there are hundreds of men and women serving life sentences under Massachusetts's felony-murder doctrine. Yet majority of them has never committed a violent act.

  Under the Commonwealth's general joint venture laws, a defendant cannot be held liable for the additional crimes committed by a co-venturer unless the defendant intended such crimes. However, where the additional crime results in death, the felony murder rule establishes an exception to the rule of joint venture and allows a defendant to be held liable without evidence that the defendant intended to cause the victim's death.

   In 2017, Massachusetts highest court refused to abolish the felony murder doctrine, but modified it in Commonwealth v. Brown 477 Mass. 805,. In the Supreme Judicial Court's decision, it now requires prosecutors to prove one of three prongs to be convicted, 1. that he or she intended to kill, 2. to cause bodily harm, 3. intended to do an act which, in the circumstances known to the defendant, a reasonable person would have known it would created a plain and strong likelihood that death would result.

   Although the doctrine has been modified, Massachusetts prosecutors are still pursuing murder convictions without evidence of the intent to kill. Prosecutors are arguing the third prong.

   The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court also refuses to make the modification of felony murder retroactive. The notion is, it will open a floodgate releasing criminals who are considered killers back on the streets. Though these men and women are not killers. They are people who made the wrong choice, was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and some even backed out from committing the felony but failed to prove it at trial.

   Society has a misperception that men and women who are serving life sentences are the most dangerous among the inmate population. A number of studies have shown, inmates who are serving life sentence are role model inmates. They are the least to receive any disciplinary sanctions. If release, they would likely have a low recidivism rate.

   Massachusetts refuses to do anything for these men and women, although it is causing millions of taxpayers dollars to keep them incarcerated.

Our Massachusetts leaders need to take a page from California.

Being Cambodian in Prison

In Massachusetts, Cambodian men are the highest population of Asians that are incarcerated. However, we are still a very small group compared to African Americans, Hispanics and Caucasians. We have facilities that hold no Asians at all, some may hold 1 Asian out of 1000 inmates, others hold 20 or less and some 50 or more.

I was once held for two years at a facility where I was the only Cambodian out of about 1000 inmates. As you know, jail and prisons are racially divided. Your first day of prison (God forbid you do go to prison), you are greeted by your race. They provide you with the necessities you need to get by: hygiene, food, and 3-way phone calls to reach your family.

My two years at a county jail in Boston, Massachusetts, I was on my own. I went weeks without hygiene or food from the commissary. Often going to sleep hungry. I could not get in contact with family due to the poor phone system.

Majority of the people did not even know or heard of Cambodians. They usually thought all Asian people are Chinese. Constantly, I dealt with racial issues from African Americans. They would call me chink or gook. Although those words are racist for Chinese and Vietnamese, I knew it was to offend me, My response was to fight.

After my fights, I would sit in my cell and ask myself, "why are the same people who dealt with racial discrimination, being hateful towards us?". Cambodian gangs form because of racism from other minority groups. Nothing good comes out of it. I hated the feeling of being hated. I’ve been fighting racism since I was a kid. As an adult, I was tired of fighting.

Dealing with racism made me miss my family and friends. I would reminisce about my visit to Cambodia, how it felt good to longer be a minority. When I was there, I'd say to myself "this is probably how white people feel in America".

But racism in jail did not break me. I always returned to general population and respect for me grew. I just felt alone.

When I was sent to Souza Baranowski, a maximum state prison, there was a lot more Cambodians. Many that I knew from Lynn and Lowell, Massachusetts. It did not matter if you we're a Blood, Crip or Tiny Rascal, as long you are Cambodian or Asian, we’re all united. Asian communities across Massachusetts state prison called themselves the "Southeast Asian Empire". 
The goal was to protect one another. I did not chose the label, but I believed in the unity.

In 2013, a prison riot occurred, it was labeled "The Asian Riot". Cambodians with knives attacked Boston gang members on several units, in the yard and chow hall. Months later, Cambodians stabbed a correction officer in the throat during Cambodian New Year. Just recently, Cambodian inmates were involved in a serious stabbing and several incidents against inmates and officers. Being the most violent in prison boost respect levels. But truth to the matter is, all of us hate the violence.

The violence usually stems from racism, ignorance and prison politics. If you don't react negatively, it becomes a sign of weakness and you become a target. A sad reality of prison.

I am now at a medium security facility, where again I am the only Cambodian. I do not deal with the same issues as before. Though many people are fascinated by how I talk or carry myself. People stereotype Asians to be a certain way. When they meet a Cambodian, I guess we shut down those stereotypes. At times, I do wish I had people to relate and reminisce with about my culture. Better yet, I wish to be free.

Criminal Justice Reform Needs More Work

Prison and Criminal justice reform is finally making the public aware that our court systems need a change. Celebrities such as Kim Kardashian, Meek Mills and Ellen Degeneres all support the reform. Even Donald Trump has eliminated mandatory life sentences for non-violent offenders in Federal prisons. In Massachusetts, Governor Charlie Baker repealed mandatory minimum sentences for certain drug offenses.
      Nevertheless, there are still men and women in prison, who are serving a life sentence for murder, but never committed the murder or intended for a victim to die. In many states, it is called "joint venture felony-murder". Which means, only a felony must be committed to be found guilty on murder. In some cases, you do not need an intent to commit the crime to be found guilty.
       For example, if you are associated with a group and you are at an event with other group members. An arguments then breaks out among a member and a stranger. The member then shoots and kill the stranger. Although you have nothing to do with the argument and shooting, you may be charge with joint venture due to your association.
      In the Massachusetts case of  Commonwealth v. Brown 477 Mass. 805, a defendant gives his friends a firearm and some hooded clothes. His friends then commit a robbery and murder. Although the defendant did not plan the robbery nor was he there to witness it, he was sentenced to a life sentence for the crime of murder. An accessory before the fact would be more consonant with justice.
      There are a number of young men and women from urban communities, who has made a wrong choice, similar to Brown. Should every gun dealer be sentence to life, if the gun he sold was used in a crime? I believe not.
      The Supreme Justice Court of Massachusetts has changed the prongs of felony murder due to the Brown case. Prosecutors now have to prove an intent to kill from each defendant charged. This change has not help the many who are still serving a life sentence. The Supreme Justice Court refuses to make their ruling retroactive.
      There is more work needed to reform the criminal justice system for men and women convicted of  someone else's reckless behavior. Nothing is being done due to the fact it is a violent charge. Although, many serving life, has never touched a weapon, neither acted violently themselves, nor witnessed the violent crime they are charged with.

The Day My Nightmare Started

Friday October 26, 2012 at 1:30 a.m I was awaken by a phone call from my girlfriend,  the love of my life. While heading home from work, she had an accident with a deer, it side swiped her car. I asked if she's "OK", when she told me she was, I replied "be careful and drive home safe". I  went to the living room and laid on the couch to wait for her to come home.
     Every morning at 2:00 a.m I waited for her to come home from work. She had told me how lonely it was to come home while everyone was sleeping. So I made sure to be awake. I would help her get into her pajamas. We would eat and talk until she was ready for bed.
     But when she came home that morning, I can tell she was upset at me. At first I didn't realize why. Until she shouted, "I was scared when I hit the deer and you said nothing to comfort me!". I did not realize I came off so cold when she called. I should of realized how scary it must be to hit a creature that size in the middle of the night. Was I too tired to notice? That was no excuse, she was looking for comfort and I failed her.
     When we went to bed, I tried to hold her, but she pushed me away. She slept by our one year old daughter. I laid there staring at the dark ceiling until I fell asleep.
     At 6:00 a.m. my alarm rang. I woke up our daughter and we got ready for our day. I loved brushing my teeth with her, it was the cutest thing to witness. Before we left, I try to give "my love" a kiss, but she rejected my affection. Only our daughter could get kisses from her.
     My plan for the day was to drop off our daughter with my sister. Bring my mother to the Cambodian temple and go to work. Once I finish my shift, I wanted to buy some flowers for "my love" and take her on a surprise dinner date. I wanted to make it up to her and apologize for slipping up on being her man.
     But just like how the morning started, things continue to not go well for me.
     While driving to my mothers house to meet my sister, I get rear ended. The woman who rear ended me blamed me for the accident. She hooted and hollered. I told her "I got a little girl with me and I don't have time for this!". There was no damage to the car, so I just blew her off.
     When I met  with my sister, my daughter some how knew I was trying to drop her off. She started screaming and crying for me not to leave her. I told her I will pick her up later and gave her a kiss. It always tugged at my heart when she would cry like that. She's was Papa's little girl, I could never leave her sight.
     After, I helped my mother put some bags of rice in the car, then we headed for the temple.
    Once we left the temple, I drove through Lynn, Massachusetts to bring my mom back home so I can go to work. I notice a Lynn police cruiser driving behind me. The police lights turned on. My mother ask me "did you run a stop sign?"
I pulled over and the police pulled over behind me. Their car doors open and their weapons was out. I look at my mother and said "this looks more serious then a traffic stop". I see the look of fear on her face. The police yell at us to put our hands up. They open my door, pull me out the vehicle and put handcuffs on me. As I look around I see the whole area blocked off. There was about a dozen of marked and unmarked police cars.
     While in the police cruiser I ask the officers "why am I being arrested?". They tell me they don't know, but their superiors had told them to pull me over and arrest me.
     At the Lynn police station a Massachusetts state trooper and a Billerica, Massachusetts police officer sit me down in a interview room. The state trooper tells me he knows everything and I need to talk. I tell him "I don't know what they are talking about" and I ask for a lawyer. He continues to pound me with questions. The Billerica police officer then comes in and tells me "your a good kid, don't go down for something someone else did". I repeat to them "I want to talk to a lawyer".
     They transfer me to the Billerica Police Station and process me. No one would tell me my charges.
     An older officer allowed me to have a free phone call. I called my mother and talked with my daughter. That phone call was the first time I heard her say the words "I love you papa". Hearing those words brought tears to my eyes. The officer then said to me, "as long as I'm here you can have as many free phone calls you want".
   I called "my love" and she had already knew what happen. She was trying her best to be strong.
    In the holding cell I laid there on the metal slab. I fell asleep a few times. Every time I fell asleep, I would dream about coming home to "my love" and my kids. I thought those dreams were  real. But every time I woke up I was in a cell, it was a nightmare. Days later "my love" told me about her Friday evening of October 26, 2012. When she was heading home reality hit her like a ton of bricks. Due to the fact She knew I was not home waiting to embrace her.
    Over six years have past and I am still fighting to prove my innocence. Every day I wake up in a cell, it is a nightmare. I pray and hope I will be free to pick up where I left of. I would get those flowers for "my love" and apologize for everything. I would tell her she no longer have to worry, no longer have to cry. I would hug her and hold her and never let her go.