My Little Girl

I always wanted to have a daughter. I pictured her as a little Cambodian girl with big eyes, lips like mines and the cutest face. On January 10, 2011 my wishes came true. My little girl was born and she looked exactly how I envisioned her.  I love her more than anything in this world. We became inseparable. She wanted to do everything I did. She would wear hats like me and try to dress like me. She was my little baby tom boy.

The day of my arrest, I had drop her off with my sister. She cried for me not to leave her. I told her I would come back to get her .
 
Almost 7 years have gone since then. I often wonder what went on in her little mind the day when her Papa never came back. How she must of waited and waited. I imagined every time there was a knock on the door, she would of run to it, hoping it was me. She would tell herself "my papa would be here any minute". Oh how her heart must of been broken when I never came. I left my little girl in a world without me.

For 2 1/2 years I did not get to hold her. When I first saw her, she just ran to me. It was the best feeling in the world to have her in my arms. I kissed her repeatedly and we braided each others hair. It was a quick visit. When it was time for her to leave, I did not want to let her go. I held back tears as she left.

She often asks me "when will you be home?". If I will be home to make it to her birthdays or school recitals. One time I called and she says "Papa my facetime buttons not working". I asked her "what's wrong with it ?". She says "I keep pressing it because I want to see your face". My heart broke, my baby was too young to realize I was calling from a pay phone.

Every morning and night, I pray to be with her. To teach her to be brave, to be strong, to be respectful, to have fun, to fear nothing. I always try my best to make her feel loved. I just wish I can be home to be the father she needs.